Willing Blindness

Ultimately to be willingly blind is a complex question of the identity of each of us as individuals verses the mass mentality, and the choices we make to conform to our destiny within our given circumstances or break away, speak out and choose a different path. This phrase is gathering some momentum at the moment and has actually been used as a headline on the front of the Guardian this morning. It is often presented in quotation marks, which in itself seems ironic. There is an article and video currently on brainpickings.org that explains this human condition in more detail...The Dangers of 'Willful Blindness'.

When I think about this topic I am reminded of the story of Oedipus the King, created by the ancient Greek playwright Sophocles, yet is still as poignant in today's society as it was then. With the evolution of technology, education and comfortable living standards, our relationships with each other have not diversified with such velocity.

For those who aren't so familiar with Sophocles and this play, he tells the story of King Laius and Queen Jocasta who were thwarted with the prophecy that their son would kill his father and marry his mother, and so when they bore a son they bound his feet and left him to die on a mountain. But the baby did not die, and was instead rescued by a shepherd and then raised by King Polybus and Queen Merope of Corinth as their own son. When Oedipus came of age and visited the oracle at Delphi he learnt of the prophecy bestow upon him, and in doing so he vowed to never return to Corinth so that his parents would not come to any harm. He headed to the city of Thebes, and on the way he encountered a situation that lead him to make a choice that he had never made before. He put that incident behind him and eventually arrived in Thebes, where he learned that King Laius had recently been murdered, and the city was in chaos and at the mercy of a Sphinx. Who ever solved the Sphinx's riddle became the new King...Oedipus solved the riddle, became King and married the previous Kings' widow, Jocasta. They had four children together and Oedipus became determined to discover who had killed the previous King to end the plague on his city. He came to realise that he was the murderer, when he killed a stranger on the way to Thebes. Jocasta hung herself upon realising the truth and Oedipus removed two pins from her dress and willingly blinded himself with them before being banished from Thebes.

This story is rich with questions about warped morals and hidden truths, the very foundations of willing blindness: Who did the right thing and who did wrong thing? Was it Oedipus in his infinite wisdom or was it his parents who did not tell him the truth, or the parents who left him to die? Are we responsible for our own actions or at the mercy of decisions made by other people? Do we make our choices in life willingly blinded by everyone else one way or another or can we make our own intrinsic decisions? This story focuses on willing blindness within the family dynamic, but in this day and age we are bombarded with this conundrum every minute of the day with exposure to the media, consumerism and our working life too.

Oedipus the King is such an emotively charged tale and has so much more detail in the full version, it is layered with subtle connotations that nod towards the truth through out, and is very much worth a read in its full entirety.

The Wind

I love the wind.

It is such a unique and powerful force that gets taken for granted. You can't smell it or taste it. You can feel it. Its something that comes from nowhere and hits you, it can take your breath away. It can make you feel present, in that moment its all you can think about, this intangiabe thing that is a powerful force.

The wind does connect with some of our senses, you can hear it in different ways, it might whistle to you. Or you might see it, because it can make things move. It has an interesting relationship with trees. It blows through their leaves and it creates a beautiful sight and sound. Do the trees and the wind embrace each other? I do not know. It seems that they do have an understanding of each other. The branches of a tree sway in the wind, the leaves rustle, they don't fight it, they go with it, but the tree stands strong because of it's roots and trunk. Yet a tree's branches and leaves are vulnerable, and some may break off and fall to the ground because of the wind.

The wind carries itself and other things, but we don't know where it comes from. Where does it start and where does it end? Why does it exist? Nothing has no purpose does it? The wind gives so much of itself to other things; pollination, the ability for birds to glide... but it comes and goes and changes minute by minute, and for no reason. Perhaps thats why it is hardly recognised as having any value. And the wind never takes anything back for itself, apart from having a destructive streak when it gets really out of control.

There isn't really any logic to the wind, it just is what it is.

I love the wind.

The Truth About Lies

I had never explored the activity of telling lies until I turned 30 years old. Up until that point I was totally honest and transparent and I worked hard to never step a foot out of line to be able to uphold that stance. Where had that value come from? It meant so much to me for so much of my life it must have been just something naturally in me, right? Well with the velocity at which that value has unravelled in recent times I now don't know what to believe about myself and my values. How can something that is so wrong have made me feel so free? Rebellion? From my parents, from my marriage? Am I being my true self when I'm keeping the truth just for myself and not for someone else? Or am I living a fake reality on unstable foundations with everything about to crash down around me at any time. Do I like the thrill of it? Never knowing what each day will bring because everything hangs in the balance. I have discovered that there is an element of exhaustion that comes with this lifestyle, much like how the stock market can just crash, and usually then the truth comes flooding out to everyone. Perhaps ultimately this is the only way to move forward, a way of cutting all the baggage of carrying the lies around every day. But when you tell the truth about your lies to other people your then recreating their reality as they knew it, controlling them and their belief of the past. Lies are about control and living in the past.

I think the truth about lies is much like the truth about drugs, do not do it in the first place, refuse to go anywhere near, because the minute you tell that first lie your opening up a new path, like a third dimension, and it will only ever suck you in further and further until your living in what feels like a totally different reality with no ability to find your way back, always beholden to that past moment in time, to that time when you first did it.

Another truth about lies is that it takes at least two people to lie, the liar and the receiver of the lies. This receiver is then either a victim of the liar's control by being oblivious to the fact that they are being lied to, or they join in with the lie and form an alliance and then the two of them are liars and the receivers are multiplied and the cycle continues and spreads like wild fire, usually involving all of the people closest to you. Then the lies multiply rapidly, to cover up the previous lies, and on and on. The two liars can think that they trust each other in their constructed 'reality' but in actual reality they can't, because they are liars. What if one wants to tell the truth and one doesn't? What if no one believes the truth because one of the liars has warped the real world enough to make their lies the truth that everyone wants to believe?

My truth about my lies is that I chose to explore something that I knew nothing about, dived into doing it willingly and naively and now only have myself to blame for the fact that I am totally lost about the truth of who I really am. Lying to myself and then to the people who I care about the most. And sorry is just not a big enough word to override it all no matter how much I wish it was.

Drowning in Decisions

Its been so long since I last wrote a blog and so much has happened I don't know where to begin. At the moment there is no beginning or end, just the feeling of drowning in the middle of the decisions that I've made.

Other people come into your life and its only when things go wrong that you really think about the relationship with them and try to work it all out as to how you've got to this point. Maybe thats where I go wrong, because I just drift along, and if I get on with someone I spend as much time with them as they want to with me. And when I fall in love with someone, I fall in deeply. This could be described as wearing my heart on my sleeve, or just plain ignorance to what is good for me, and the other person.

But there's only so long I can hold my breath for and I have been for months now. I don't know at this point whether I will fight to get to the surface or if I will continue to hold it, and eventually succumb to the elements around me.

'Drowning in Decisions' 2014

Letting Go

It sounds so simple yet it can be so difficult to let go; of the past, of other people, of emotions. Everything on this earth is always changing and we as humans are just one small part of it, and even though overall as a race we have come to believe that we are the central force of a world that revolves around us, we aren't. To try and stand against the flow and to never move on will only lead to the destruction of ourselves and in turn everyone and everything that means something to us.  It is a force of nature that is far more powerful than we as mortal creatures will ever be.

The unique element to human nature in this world is how we process our thoughts, but within that we can become beholden to memories that can replay in our minds as if the past is still a part of our present as well as making us think that we know what the future will be. And this can affect everything we do, say, feel; how we exist.

But we can't control everything and everyone, or even ourselves. And thats why there always comes a time to let go. Sometimes the thing we encounter is so beautiful, like an enchanting, colourful, delicate butterfly, that we want to capture it in our hands and never let it go, but in doing that we actually destroy everything that we love about it. If we want to keep it and hold on to it we are only thinking about ourselves. No matter how difficult it feels to let it be free to fly, that is the only way to truly enjoy it's beautiful existence, to truly love it.

Letting go is so multi faceted that it can feel so hard to comprehend and achieve, and it can feel much easier to try to avoid. But one way or another it can not be avoided, it is something every one of us has to come to terms with at some point. So perhaps a life where letting go is embraced, respected and celebrated is what nature has really intended for us all along, and why we are shown this powerful force in all sorts of ways every second of every day.

'Letting Go' Kate Barry 2014

Connecting

As an artist it can be a struggle to know whether your work is connecting with anyone else out there, but ultimately this is why I create, to say 'Look, I'm human, and I saw and felt this and if you did too then you are not alone'. But its finding that point of osmosis in a subtle yet striking way, where the message in the piece permeates the viewers conscious mind both superficially and fundamentally, that has become the crux for me as an artist at this present time.

So I have been thinking about this a lot recently and I have found that music, especially pop music reaches this level of connectivity that I am talking about in a very unassuming guise, engaging massive audiences. I want to really understand this process and to be able to channel it into my work. I have read theories on it such as 'Ways of Seeing' by John Berger but theories are just that, and real people listening to their radio happily singing words that talk about their deepest darkest emotions is something totally different.

I guess the ultimate reason for this contrast is that speaking, listening and seeing are all very different behaviours and connect with us in very different ways. Perhaps the intangible words and the upbeat melody of a song are the perfect segue for talking about emotions, but seeing a physical image of that same emotion is too much for most people to deal with.

This is an ongoing exploration and I do not have many answers at this present time, but I will continue on my journey, continue making art and continue trying to connect. This image is a summary of all of this, its a piece of art about my art, about my audience, about other artists, about popular culture, about my questions and about myself.

'Connecting' by Kate Barry

Conformity

If you see an ant going about his daily life he may look a bit crazy, zig zagging here and there. If you see two ants they might zig zag in slightly different directions but ultimately get to the same place. If you see a colony of ants they all zig zag in the same direction, form a trail, and march along a clear path from A to B.

Is this why humans feel so compelled to conform? Because we don't want to feel like one crazy little ant zig zagging all over the place with no destination in sight?

And what if the two little ants zig zag in the same direction, and don't care about the destination?

'Two Little Ants' by Kate Barry

Equilibrium

A new found equilibrium; where the bright light and noise of the every day are blocked out for enough time so that a burst of clarity happens.

Like a total eclipse, where the earth, moon and sun all align to create a moment of dark stillness, the past, the present and the future all align in the same way.

After this has happened things can not be the same again. A new balance is in your heart.

'Past, Present & Future' 2014

Faith & Trust

To trust is to give so much of yourself to something or someone else. Trust is a big emotion. I have, and still do, only trust one person enough to give them my heart, and I'm forever thankful that happened. However it is not something that comes easily.

Maybe the difficulty to trust is because of a lack of self trust; distrusting the ability to conquer fears, fulfil dreams and follow the heart. But to have faith, and plenty of it, is the fuel to keep going, and when the experiences on the journey become solid, they become the trust.

'Faith & Trust' 2014

Friday

Sometimes it seems as though everything is a sign, a beacon of light, saying 'this is the path'. Sometimes if feels like everything is just that bit clearer. Sometimes things just feel good.

That sometimes is just now :)

'Friday' 2014

Electric Dream

Some things can leap into your heart and mind and create a bond so strong that it is not possible to remember the person you were before it happened. This may only take a split second, a chance encounter, a passing touch, something that makes you spin the world pause, a sunset too beautiful to comprehend, the sky filled with colourful exploding fireworks. What ever it is, it feels like electricity running through your veins. It can be addictive because it feels so good, something to let yourself get lost in, bask in. To forever be a part of you from the moment that it happens.

Sometimes this can be a feeling so beautifully shared with the right person, and sometimes it is to remain only in your own possession, to be enjoyed in your dreams, wandering freely, seeing it in your heart, listening to it with your eyes and hearing it within your soul.

If you would like to purchase this piece, any of my other pieces or discuss a commission then please contact me kate_barry@live.co.uk.

'Electric Dream' 2014

Feeling Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion, and it can be used to control the mind in good ways and bad. Sometimes it seems as though we have been so conditioned to feel fear throughout our lives we have no idea how much we are letting it impact on our day to day, even thinking in fear mode with everything we do. Yes, there is an underlying biological need for fear in order to survive but this is a more conscious yet surreptitious version linked with control rather than survival.

Trying to break out of fear is like this may feel like trying to break an addiction, at every turn it is there ready to tempt you, once again, back into its comforting arms of dominance. In rebelling from it you can end up in no mans land, limbo, and inadvertently fulfilling the fearful prophecies uttered by so many.

So is it possible to happily move out of a fearful mindset? Perhaps so, by only focusing on the positive emotions that come out of fear; like how it can drive focus and ambition and it's adrenaline fuelled buzz of excitement. But doing this may also lead to being irresponsible and having a lack of empathy for others, therefore implementing one fundamental element could be the key - always following and trusting your own core values, those that celebrate all of the good in your heart - then you no longer have to live by the control of 'the fear factor' and can make way for so many other beautiful emotions instead; and perhaps live by the best constraints of both worlds?

'Feeling Fear' 2014

Roaming

This journey is full of discovery, love, heartache, just to name a few things. To follow your heart and love yourself unconditionally isn't a path that many people are able to take. Circumstances beyond our control can take over our lives and throw the path wide open or make it cripplingly narrow, very different constraints but both can be treacherous, debilitating and often very lonely.

But no matter what life brings, whether we are free or not, our mind; our soul is ours and ours only. The choice to wander freely in our mind comes so naturally to some and to others it does not. Whether this is because of all that has gone before for them or some genetically inherited capability, like the difference between being naturally thin and not, I do not know. All I do know is, strength of mind as its often described, and the ability to roam freely no matter what circumstance you encounter, is one of the most beautiful things to be in the presence of.

'Roaming' 2014

Creating Confidence

Confidence is one of those things that if it could be bottled and sold in it's purest form the world would be a much different place. In the wrong hands it can take a dark path towards narcissistic tendencies, but at the other end of the scale, without it, talented people may never reach out to their full potential.

Different personalities with different levels of confidence can sometimes rest on a very fine line, and perhaps even fluctuate between two extremes. Confidence can be there one day and gone, seemingly without trace, the next. When this happens, where does it go? And how do you get it to come back?

I think some of the answers lie in the fact that the word 'confidence' is a neat, or perhaps not so neat, package of different emotions and experiences. If any of these disassociated factors dip into the negative then confidence is more than likely to be taken down with it.

So how can confidence levels be managed enabling us to achieve our true destiny? Ultimately, for me, the answer is to keep going, to not give up the things that I enjoy doing when I am feeling confident even during the times when I don't feel it. The world and the people in it won't have changed over night, only our personal outlook. Stand up to the unruly thoughts that come with lack of confidence and carry on regardless, like taking a sledge hammer to a brick wall. When you break through and come out on the other side, you usually find that that is the very place where confidence had disappeared to all along!

'Confidence' 2014

Exhibition Update

Synergy, my current exhibition, will now be on view in the upstairs gallery at the Burslem School of Art only until Wednesday 22nd January.

Its been such a fantastic experience to put this together and I know that this is only the start for me as a photographic artist. I'm planning more exhibitions in the future in different towns and cities and I'm really happy with my images. I'm looking forward to the possibilities of what I can do with them now that I've created them and I'm excited about all of the ideas that are currently flowing through my mind.

If you are unable to got to the Burslem School of Art in Stoke on Trent, please enjoy this sneak peek of one of the images in the collection…I would love to hear what you think about the image and any emotions it may evoke for you. And if you would like further insight into this project head over to my previous posts.

Untitled No.7

The Past, Present and a Pair of Shoes...

I wrote this article 4 years ago and just came across it again today, I love how sometimes I don't recognise myself within things I've written or created, but what ever it is makes perfect sense to me. Conversations between my past and present self are some of the best.

This is a lighthearted piece with strong values bubbling beneath the surface, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy....

Do you really need another pair of shoes?

Perhaps I could be described as a bit odd, but I have to admit that shoes don’t really do it for me. Gasps followed by the question ‘So why does she love Elle then!?’ may follow, but hear me out.

A girl’s relationship with shoes begins at an early age, shuffling around in your mum’s kitten heels soon after mastering how to walk followed by the anchor point, owning your first pair of stilettos as a teenager. During that impressionable pubescent period I made the mistake of not sealing the bond with shoes, I didn’t persevere through the high heel pain barrier and now, a number of years later, I have a total inability to last longer than about an hour donning any more than half an inch. We are yet to see small print on the side of a box of Jimmy Choo’s issuing a health warning, but to me it seems as though it is only a matter of time. And if the media were to then jump on the bandwagon they would no doubt try to put an end to anyone having the need for another pair of 6-inch heels. Ok, maybe I’m taking things to the extreme, let’s take it down a notch.

Luckily many other styles have been invented allowing us, as liberated and free thinking beings, to choose a style of shoe that totally suits us, a reflection of our personality, a complement to our personality. Who cares if it’s a pair of loafers that shout out sensible and comfortable? (Having been featured by Chloe a/w 2010 is good enough for me). But what I’m trying to get at here is that with so many different pairs of shoes in the world there is definitely the perfect pair for everyone, there’s no need to compromise, your perfect match, your soul mate shoes are out there waiting for you. On the other hand, or foot as the case may be, you could now be feeling rather smug in the knowledge that your perfect pair are delicately encasing and softly caressing your lower extremities this very minute.

This is the crux of the matter. If you are still searching for your perfect pair, then yes, you really do need another pair of shoes. You can’t be denied of your soul mates, this would be a tragedy. Missing out on a happy ending is a reality none of us wish to face. Which leaves me with those who were feeling smug a few sentences ago. As far as I can see you fall into two categories. Perhaps you are filled with a lovely warm glowing feeling in the knowledge that you have found your perfect match, you smile as you look at them and they create a feeling completeness - you don’t want, need or care about another pair of shoes. However, I am more inclined to believe that once a woman has encountered The One (pair) they are hooked. The warm glowing feeling wears off and before she knows it she is convinced that another perfect pair is out there, and another and another. A different colour, fabric, buckle, stitch, even a totally different style, to feed the hunger that is bestowed upon many a female in today’s society. With so many possibilities there’s no way a girl can be faithful to just one pair, right?

When I was 10 years old I remember looking in my Grandmother’s wardrobe. Looking amongst the fur coats, Hounds-tooth suits and other similar items I asked ‘but where are all the shoes?’ It was then that I learnt that you only need one really good quality pair of shoes, which will last a lifetime. If the sole wore away, instead of being discarded they were attentively repaired at the cobblers. Our Grandmother’s generation didn’t need another pair of shoes, a new heel and they were as good as new, their commitment was for life, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

Which brings me to the conclusion that we only really need another pair of shoes if we are ready to fully commit to that pair, ready to share the good outfit choices and the bad. They will give you the confidence to feel great in any situation and in return you will respect them and provide them with the nurture they need. And I feel that this is the point in which I am at my life, a/w 2010 is the season that I am ready to take the leap of faith to love and to cherish for better or for worse another pair of shoes, but not just any pair, The Pair. If you don’t yet feel ready for this kind of commitment your shoe cupboard may see a lot of flirtation, but proceed with caution, there will be a lot of styles hankering for your attention and by the end of a busy day you may be left feeling like you’ve received little in return. Perhaps, most tragically, you may have found your perfect pair a while ago and they have got lost in the abyss. They are waiting patiently to be rediscovered at the back of the wardrobe, if this could be you, quickly go and look at what you have already got. Lastly, maybe your best option would be to start all over again with those teenage stilettos because, unlike clothes, shoes can transcribe across the decades and still fit perfectly, the addition of a few pounds around the hips doesn’t matter to feet. Whatever your situation may be, when you do find your perfect pair and you have that feeling Cinderella must have had when that glass slipper fitted perfectly, these are your soul mates and you don’t need another pair.

Exhibition Time 2

My exhibition has now come to fruition! It has felt like a very productive two days and it's been exciting to see a vision become a reality.

The building itself, Burslem School of Art, is seeped with personality and charm, not least its 4 degree list to one side. The day light floods unbroken through it's centre due to the glass roof and the balcony on the first floor, which is where the gallery space is situated. And from each window you get an unprecedented view of the city, which on days like today when the sun is shining and the clouds are dramatic, you feel like this place might just be the centre of the universe!

Tony, a fellow member of the Photograhers' Collective North Staffordshire, so very kindly came along to help me with the technicalities of hanging the frames, and I confessed that I haven't actually used a drill before! With his experience on these matters it felt very much like the master and the apprentice, and its so great to learn new skills, I know that the knowledge I have gained today will stay with me in the future.

My cousin and her fiancé called in to see me as we were getting underway with the first of the frames and they very kindly stopped to help, so before we knew it all eight were up on the walls and commanding the space beautifully.

Over the past few years I've rarely felt a huge sense of achievement in my career, that kind where you know that you have followed your heart's true desire, so when I looked around the gallery today and that is exactly how I felt, it was an amazing feeling.

If you would like to visit the exhibition it is open Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm at the Burslem School of Art in the upstairs gallery until 22nd January 2014 . If you have any more questions or would just like to get in touch, please do so as I would love to hear from you!

Exhibition Time

The week has arrived for me to display my latest artistic project to the public. I'm so exhilarated to be doing this because it is something that I promised myself I would do this time last year. And it really feels like it is meant to be when you make a little promise to yourself and then it comes true.

This project has ran in parallel with my life changing experiences over the past few months (please see previous blogs for an update on what I've been doing), it's not been an epic revolutionary quest or a discovery journey around the world, just taking the time to think about my own being. I've spent most of the time sitting quietly and peacefully in my front room letting myself think what ever I need to think and walking in the field next to my home and looking at all there is to see, basking in the different things that nature brings to that space every day. Of course I have also continued with lots of 'normal' things like shopping at Tesco and watching American TV shows, thinking about fashions and what to make for tea. The juxtaposition of these activities are the foundation of my project along with questions about the way my physical body and intangible mind work as a sometimes unlikely partnership. All of these totally different elements morph together to form the synergy of me and my life.

These elements are also in a constant state of flux, and they can work with each other and against. I still don't have the answers but I do have some questions that I've been thinking about the answer to. Because I naturally articulate myself in image form it has felt natural to create these images over last three months. I feel like I could talk about them forever and not at all, at the same time. I feel privileged to have the opportunity to share them to other people, but ultimately I have created them for myself, as both a cathartic tool and an anchor point to look back on, much like entries in a diary to those who find comfort in that.

And so, the exhibition will be running for 2 weeks and if you can get to Stoke on Trent to see it that will be more than I could have ever hoped for this time last year. The details of the exhibition are below, but the images won't be posted online as of yet. Please leave comments or feedback and let me know about projects that you are currently working on as I would love to hear from you.