Feeling Fear

Fear is a powerful emotion, and it can be used to control the mind in good ways and bad. Sometimes it seems as though we have been so conditioned to feel fear throughout our lives we have no idea how much we are letting it impact on our day to day, even thinking in fear mode with everything we do. Yes, there is an underlying biological need for fear in order to survive but this is a more conscious yet surreptitious version linked with control rather than survival.

Trying to break out of fear is like this may feel like trying to break an addiction, at every turn it is there ready to tempt you, once again, back into its comforting arms of dominance. In rebelling from it you can end up in no mans land, limbo, and inadvertently fulfilling the fearful prophecies uttered by so many.

So is it possible to happily move out of a fearful mindset? Perhaps so, by only focusing on the positive emotions that come out of fear; like how it can drive focus and ambition and it's adrenaline fuelled buzz of excitement. But doing this may also lead to being irresponsible and having a lack of empathy for others, therefore implementing one fundamental element could be the key - always following and trusting your own core values, those that celebrate all of the good in your heart - then you no longer have to live by the control of 'the fear factor' and can make way for so many other beautiful emotions instead; and perhaps live by the best constraints of both worlds?

'Feeling Fear' 2014

Roaming

This journey is full of discovery, love, heartache, just to name a few things. To follow your heart and love yourself unconditionally isn't a path that many people are able to take. Circumstances beyond our control can take over our lives and throw the path wide open or make it cripplingly narrow, very different constraints but both can be treacherous, debilitating and often very lonely.

But no matter what life brings, whether we are free or not, our mind; our soul is ours and ours only. The choice to wander freely in our mind comes so naturally to some and to others it does not. Whether this is because of all that has gone before for them or some genetically inherited capability, like the difference between being naturally thin and not, I do not know. All I do know is, strength of mind as its often described, and the ability to roam freely no matter what circumstance you encounter, is one of the most beautiful things to be in the presence of.

'Roaming' 2014

Creating Confidence

Confidence is one of those things that if it could be bottled and sold in it's purest form the world would be a much different place. In the wrong hands it can take a dark path towards narcissistic tendencies, but at the other end of the scale, without it, talented people may never reach out to their full potential.

Different personalities with different levels of confidence can sometimes rest on a very fine line, and perhaps even fluctuate between two extremes. Confidence can be there one day and gone, seemingly without trace, the next. When this happens, where does it go? And how do you get it to come back?

I think some of the answers lie in the fact that the word 'confidence' is a neat, or perhaps not so neat, package of different emotions and experiences. If any of these disassociated factors dip into the negative then confidence is more than likely to be taken down with it.

So how can confidence levels be managed enabling us to achieve our true destiny? Ultimately, for me, the answer is to keep going, to not give up the things that I enjoy doing when I am feeling confident even during the times when I don't feel it. The world and the people in it won't have changed over night, only our personal outlook. Stand up to the unruly thoughts that come with lack of confidence and carry on regardless, like taking a sledge hammer to a brick wall. When you break through and come out on the other side, you usually find that that is the very place where confidence had disappeared to all along!

'Confidence' 2014

Exhibition Update

Synergy, my current exhibition, will now be on view in the upstairs gallery at the Burslem School of Art only until Wednesday 22nd January.

Its been such a fantastic experience to put this together and I know that this is only the start for me as a photographic artist. I'm planning more exhibitions in the future in different towns and cities and I'm really happy with my images. I'm looking forward to the possibilities of what I can do with them now that I've created them and I'm excited about all of the ideas that are currently flowing through my mind.

If you are unable to got to the Burslem School of Art in Stoke on Trent, please enjoy this sneak peek of one of the images in the collection…I would love to hear what you think about the image and any emotions it may evoke for you. And if you would like further insight into this project head over to my previous posts.

Untitled No.7

The Past, Present and a Pair of Shoes...

I wrote this article 4 years ago and just came across it again today, I love how sometimes I don't recognise myself within things I've written or created, but what ever it is makes perfect sense to me. Conversations between my past and present self are some of the best.

This is a lighthearted piece with strong values bubbling beneath the surface, grab a cup of coffee and enjoy....

Do you really need another pair of shoes?

Perhaps I could be described as a bit odd, but I have to admit that shoes don’t really do it for me. Gasps followed by the question ‘So why does she love Elle then!?’ may follow, but hear me out.

A girl’s relationship with shoes begins at an early age, shuffling around in your mum’s kitten heels soon after mastering how to walk followed by the anchor point, owning your first pair of stilettos as a teenager. During that impressionable pubescent period I made the mistake of not sealing the bond with shoes, I didn’t persevere through the high heel pain barrier and now, a number of years later, I have a total inability to last longer than about an hour donning any more than half an inch. We are yet to see small print on the side of a box of Jimmy Choo’s issuing a health warning, but to me it seems as though it is only a matter of time. And if the media were to then jump on the bandwagon they would no doubt try to put an end to anyone having the need for another pair of 6-inch heels. Ok, maybe I’m taking things to the extreme, let’s take it down a notch.

Luckily many other styles have been invented allowing us, as liberated and free thinking beings, to choose a style of shoe that totally suits us, a reflection of our personality, a complement to our personality. Who cares if it’s a pair of loafers that shout out sensible and comfortable? (Having been featured by Chloe a/w 2010 is good enough for me). But what I’m trying to get at here is that with so many different pairs of shoes in the world there is definitely the perfect pair for everyone, there’s no need to compromise, your perfect match, your soul mate shoes are out there waiting for you. On the other hand, or foot as the case may be, you could now be feeling rather smug in the knowledge that your perfect pair are delicately encasing and softly caressing your lower extremities this very minute.

This is the crux of the matter. If you are still searching for your perfect pair, then yes, you really do need another pair of shoes. You can’t be denied of your soul mates, this would be a tragedy. Missing out on a happy ending is a reality none of us wish to face. Which leaves me with those who were feeling smug a few sentences ago. As far as I can see you fall into two categories. Perhaps you are filled with a lovely warm glowing feeling in the knowledge that you have found your perfect match, you smile as you look at them and they create a feeling completeness - you don’t want, need or care about another pair of shoes. However, I am more inclined to believe that once a woman has encountered The One (pair) they are hooked. The warm glowing feeling wears off and before she knows it she is convinced that another perfect pair is out there, and another and another. A different colour, fabric, buckle, stitch, even a totally different style, to feed the hunger that is bestowed upon many a female in today’s society. With so many possibilities there’s no way a girl can be faithful to just one pair, right?

When I was 10 years old I remember looking in my Grandmother’s wardrobe. Looking amongst the fur coats, Hounds-tooth suits and other similar items I asked ‘but where are all the shoes?’ It was then that I learnt that you only need one really good quality pair of shoes, which will last a lifetime. If the sole wore away, instead of being discarded they were attentively repaired at the cobblers. Our Grandmother’s generation didn’t need another pair of shoes, a new heel and they were as good as new, their commitment was for life, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

Which brings me to the conclusion that we only really need another pair of shoes if we are ready to fully commit to that pair, ready to share the good outfit choices and the bad. They will give you the confidence to feel great in any situation and in return you will respect them and provide them with the nurture they need. And I feel that this is the point in which I am at my life, a/w 2010 is the season that I am ready to take the leap of faith to love and to cherish for better or for worse another pair of shoes, but not just any pair, The Pair. If you don’t yet feel ready for this kind of commitment your shoe cupboard may see a lot of flirtation, but proceed with caution, there will be a lot of styles hankering for your attention and by the end of a busy day you may be left feeling like you’ve received little in return. Perhaps, most tragically, you may have found your perfect pair a while ago and they have got lost in the abyss. They are waiting patiently to be rediscovered at the back of the wardrobe, if this could be you, quickly go and look at what you have already got. Lastly, maybe your best option would be to start all over again with those teenage stilettos because, unlike clothes, shoes can transcribe across the decades and still fit perfectly, the addition of a few pounds around the hips doesn’t matter to feet. Whatever your situation may be, when you do find your perfect pair and you have that feeling Cinderella must have had when that glass slipper fitted perfectly, these are your soul mates and you don’t need another pair.

Exhibition Time 2

My exhibition has now come to fruition! It has felt like a very productive two days and it's been exciting to see a vision become a reality.

The building itself, Burslem School of Art, is seeped with personality and charm, not least its 4 degree list to one side. The day light floods unbroken through it's centre due to the glass roof and the balcony on the first floor, which is where the gallery space is situated. And from each window you get an unprecedented view of the city, which on days like today when the sun is shining and the clouds are dramatic, you feel like this place might just be the centre of the universe!

Tony, a fellow member of the Photograhers' Collective North Staffordshire, so very kindly came along to help me with the technicalities of hanging the frames, and I confessed that I haven't actually used a drill before! With his experience on these matters it felt very much like the master and the apprentice, and its so great to learn new skills, I know that the knowledge I have gained today will stay with me in the future.

My cousin and her fiancé called in to see me as we were getting underway with the first of the frames and they very kindly stopped to help, so before we knew it all eight were up on the walls and commanding the space beautifully.

Over the past few years I've rarely felt a huge sense of achievement in my career, that kind where you know that you have followed your heart's true desire, so when I looked around the gallery today and that is exactly how I felt, it was an amazing feeling.

If you would like to visit the exhibition it is open Monday to Friday 10am to 4pm at the Burslem School of Art in the upstairs gallery until 22nd January 2014 . If you have any more questions or would just like to get in touch, please do so as I would love to hear from you!

Exhibition Time

The week has arrived for me to display my latest artistic project to the public. I'm so exhilarated to be doing this because it is something that I promised myself I would do this time last year. And it really feels like it is meant to be when you make a little promise to yourself and then it comes true.

This project has ran in parallel with my life changing experiences over the past few months (please see previous blogs for an update on what I've been doing), it's not been an epic revolutionary quest or a discovery journey around the world, just taking the time to think about my own being. I've spent most of the time sitting quietly and peacefully in my front room letting myself think what ever I need to think and walking in the field next to my home and looking at all there is to see, basking in the different things that nature brings to that space every day. Of course I have also continued with lots of 'normal' things like shopping at Tesco and watching American TV shows, thinking about fashions and what to make for tea. The juxtaposition of these activities are the foundation of my project along with questions about the way my physical body and intangible mind work as a sometimes unlikely partnership. All of these totally different elements morph together to form the synergy of me and my life.

These elements are also in a constant state of flux, and they can work with each other and against. I still don't have the answers but I do have some questions that I've been thinking about the answer to. Because I naturally articulate myself in image form it has felt natural to create these images over last three months. I feel like I could talk about them forever and not at all, at the same time. I feel privileged to have the opportunity to share them to other people, but ultimately I have created them for myself, as both a cathartic tool and an anchor point to look back on, much like entries in a diary to those who find comfort in that.

And so, the exhibition will be running for 2 weeks and if you can get to Stoke on Trent to see it that will be more than I could have ever hoped for this time last year. The details of the exhibition are below, but the images won't be posted online as of yet. Please leave comments or feedback and let me know about projects that you are currently working on as I would love to hear from you.